The Bipolar poem

I was so excited when you called
I could barly talk.
Although I don't sound excited, I really am.
Bursting on the inside with happyness and glee.

I make awkward silence becuase i don't know what to say.
Theres a million and one things to say.

I can't even begin to tell you how much i missed you.
Words don't cut it.

But when you hang up the phone.
I wonder if your calling her..
Is she better than me?
More exciting and fun?
Of course she is..
You said you loved her..
Never to me though.
Why am I never good enough?

Becuase I'm boring
Becuase I'm not exciting
Becuase I'm quite
And a thousand more flaws.

I hurt inside knowing your talking to her.
Forgetting about me.
You say you never want to make me sad.
But I'm sad now, and you'll never know,
How much you mean to me
But you threw it away..